For traveling in excess of 15 mph.  Elsewhere, snow tire chains are patented.



Along with everything else this past weekend, I had the unexpected pleasure of purchasing a set of new tires for the truck, which I did with the assistance of a very kind and attentive Armenian youth at the Hollywood Tire Store.  As Jaguar, Hummer and Mercedes owners entered the shop to be given quotes, I realized with satisfaction that by comparison, my new tires were downright bargains.

However I was given to wondering what I would do if I had a family and children to support, and all those obligations you can't really shirk or skimp on, like glasses, shoes and braces for the kids.  Children require so much, don't they?  I was thinking the same thing just the other day when I learned parents are now having to go to FaceBook and MySpace to check out their children's prospective college roommates.  I can't imagine what I would do if I had to deal with such an issue, never having visited either of these sites nor those of similar nature.  What would I do with children anyway?  What would children do with me?  What would one say to them, or they to me besides, "What do you mean you gave our lunch money to the pool boy again?" Or "What do you mean you spent our back-to-school-clothes allowance at the Gay Erotic Expo?"

Yet I always intuitively knew I'd never be called Daddy in the literal way.

At the Four Seasons, for those of you who do have offspring, however, may I recommend the special Children's Buffet, set up at a lower and more accessible height, decorated with giant white teddy bears, and offering all the kinds of food children apparently enjoy and grown-ups don't, like mac-and-cheese, pizza, chocolate cupcakes, fish sticks, sugar cookies and so forth.  I went back several times when no one was looking.

 

Speaking of the Expo, those two Underwear Models and self-made celebrities the Ginch-Gonch Boys Ben and Ethan were hosting a booth, wearing tiny bits of colorful fabric and spray-on tans.  They are in remarkable physical condition, depilated and curiously life-like with their very white smiles.  B and I both decided, however, that some of the other boys were infinitely more approachable, unashamed to offer their cell phone numbers in lingering handshakes, whereas Ben and Ethan seemed oddly stand-offish even in their nakeness.  Some "fear energy" going on, we thought.  As if, even while they asked if we were being served, they were concerned we might get the wrong idea.  No dulcet tones ringing out with "Menswear" if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile, Goodnight Ladies.  
                                 
           The Three Graces.