"worst week" copyright Bianca Dorso

"It's only about once in a lifetime that anything sensational ever happens to one, and when it does, you don't want people talking all the colour out of it." 

-  Bertie Wooster, in "Right Ho, Jeeves," (1934) by P.G. Wodehouse, who visited America in 1904.

A very full weekend, after a darkly tumultous week (that pesky business with the financial collapse), and stone-cold sober through it all.  Opting for a weddding over a memorial I inadvertently dressed for the latter and after a harrowing drive on the Pasadena Freeway in an unexpected downpour, I arrived at the charming but authentic looking faux Carolingian monastery with its Victorian-Gothic-style embellishments a trifle damp and in unrelieved black, which made me feel rather as though I'd been cast as the Fairy Scorned showing up to Beauty's shindig.  All I needed was a poisoned spindle to complete the ensemble. 

Fortunately, I was promptly put at my ease by the dear grooms Jim and Larry, who looked very smart in their white shirts, blue blazers and school ties, for all the world like a couple of old Horace Mann chums tying the knot.  Glad for the champers and gelato in the Rectory parlor afterward too (Martinelli's bubbly cider for me, of course). 

Then a mad dash back into town for dinner at the PALMS, Hollywood at Bronson near the 101 ramp.  Exellent Thai Town Thai food which comes with a floor show by a Thai Elvis Impersonater who is actually very good -- you may go to scoff, but you stay to sing along, I'm warning you.  I got to meet up with friend Adrienne Crew,  and celebrated author Erik Davis of "Techgnosis" and "Visionary State" and friends.   

Later still in the evening and for reasons not worth elaborating on, I found myself engaged in an on-line chat about music selectons at funerals.  I for one am firmly opposed to "Candle In the Wind" or that Sarah McLachlan track about angels.  Better, if you ask me, to go with something by INXS or ColdPlay.   

"INXS" might be an inappropriate choice," my correspondent e-mailed back, "when you recall the lead singer died from sexual misadventure in an auto-asphyxiation gone awry."  Good point.  Could prove awkward.

For myself, at least in my youth, I always leaned toward Procul Harem's "Whiter Shade of Pale," but nowadays  I would prefer Dan Fogelberg's "There's a Place in the World for a Gambler," with its familiar refrain, "Let it shine, oh let it shine on," from the Souvenir album (1974).  I cannot tell you how often I had sex to Dan Fogelberg, but if memory serves, it was frequently.  Of course in those days I was also frequently very high and could for the most part only lie there in tie-dyed sheet splendor, to which I might add I rarely had any objections, given my extreme youth and immense charm.  

My Facebook confidante said he would opt for Elton's "Funeral for a Friend," adding that he could play it to touching effect, having taken piano lessons in his youth.  I gently pointed out that performing at one's own memorial would be a challenge, but hastened to add (not wanting to burst any bubbles) that I would honor his final wishes, my private thought being that, when the time came, he would hardly be in any position to argue. 

And what song would you like at yours? Something sensational I hope.  I'm taking requests.