Winning



Sweet Victory
Tennis champion Novak Djokovic

As some of you know, there are two or three books I reread every year.  Death in Venice, Heart Of Darkness and sometimes I throw in The Picture of Dorian Gray.

"Not many people find that book amusing," my friend Jonathan said at lunch yesterday, as I sat reading Conrad's classic and chuckling audibly.  I was only amused, of course, because I was in awe.  His words can take your breath away.  How often do you come across a vision like this in your day:

"I saw him extend his short flipper of an arm for a gesture that took in the forest, the creek, the mud, the river, - seemed to beckon with a dishonouring flourish (italics mine) before the sunlit face of the land a treacherous appeal (ditto) to the lurking death, to the hidden evil, to the profound darkness of its heart." 

I mean, seriously.  To have a view of the world like that and still be able to write about it?   That takes courage.  Not to mention a whole lot of talent.

My friend Bianca told me the other day that Agostino Coppola, Francis's grandfather, left Italy for America in 1904.  Now, clearly she was thinking of the other Heart of Darkness, Francis's with Brando but still in the same ballpark, as they say (or jungle or tennis court if you will) when it comes to having a vision of the world.

Lately I have been feeling frustrated by my inability to get other people to see things from my perspective.  I have been thinking how terribly painful it can be, having a perspective that is so seemingly different from and at odds with those around me.  How hard it is, I say, trying to change someone's mind, especially someone who refuses to see the world the way I do.  So hard and sad and painful. 

But this morning I thought, oh please, it isn't having a different point of view that hurts, it's needing someone else to have it too.  It's the failing to change your mind, instead of mine, that makes me crazy.  Especially since I have a slightly better shot at my own than I do with yours.  And so I give up trying, and a certain relief follows.  You win, I say.  You're right.  I surrender.  I exhale.

Surrender and Defeat may be good for the Lessons involved, I suppose.
But still, winning is sweet, I freely admit it.  Just look at what winning looks like.  
It looks great.
 

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Comments

  • 2/22/2012 9:48 AM bd wrote:
    first, you win!!! your writing wins me over, that's it. (I much prefer you to Conrad)

    where did you see that px of the joker? I'm a tennis watcher and though I've seen him fall to the ground many times, never without his shirt.
    great picture. great post.
    better still, your win.
    xxx
    Reply to this
    1. 2/22/2012 12:31 PM George Snyder wrote:
      First, you know Joko is my favorite tennis player EVer.
      Second, I am SO glad you are back!
      YOU win!
      No, YOU do.
      Loving You,
      G

      Reply to this
  • 2/23/2012 3:54 AM Jerome wrote:
    Oh George, I am SO disappointed! What's the use of these hours of eastern philosophy and reflection if you think in term of winning/ losing... I believe in success and achievement but winning means also losing for someone else and it is just childlike.
    Darling, I don't give a damn when people don't see through my perspective. I just know I am right!
    Or maybe not but as Pirandello wrote about it, there isn't ONE truth.

    ps: I hope I didn't sound too reproachful
    Reply to this
    1. 2/23/2012 6:47 AM George Snyder wrote:
      Ah, but my friend, I agree.  I agree.  I forget sometimes, but you're right.
      Winning is the illusion.  It looks sweet in games, but in the bigger game of life it's just a distraction.
      With friends the need to win every argument can make you unbearable, and in the workplace the one who's always throwing her colleagues under the bus to look good in front of the boss gets voted the Most Despised Employee of the Year. 
      That's what I meant.  And you're right.  Who cares?  Let the friend be right, let the hateful co-worker get her way.  Or make new friends and get a new job.  Stop playing that silly game.  Even if it is tempting.  Tempting because it looks like fun. 

      Reply to this
      1. 2/23/2012 7:49 AM Jerome wrote:
        Well it could look like fun but you need so much energy in it with not much result at the end... and I am sooo lazy
        Furthermore, even when I win I am not nearly as good looking as your "tennis chouchou", so what's the point!
        Reply to this
  • 2/23/2012 2:20 PM Mme Anonyme wrote:
    Wah wah wah. It's tough being a genius.

    You should know.

    XXXXXXOOOO,

    Mme
    Reply to this
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